16 While Paul was a missionary in the United States of America he happened to be touring during the week leading up to the Super Bowl, the NFL’s championship game and host of the world’s most watched television programming. This single event contained worship of many things like sports, music, sexuality, greed, and hyper-capitolism.
17 So he used his fame to submit articles for Time magazine, the New York Times, the Washington Post, spoke on shows on all the major news networks, and even recorded a sermon that could be viewed online on the matter, and it went viral. He also went to the sports bars and the grocery stores and struck up conversations with people who he overheard talking about their Super Bowl plans.
18-21 The news stations ridiculed him, but a few executives saw their chance to gain viewers by the outlandish opinions that Paul had concerning modern day idols and the ironic religiosity of football being played on Sundays, the day that Jesus, the true target of our should-be worship, who was resurrected once for all.
22-28 In a surprising nationally televised address, he spoke, and began saying, “People of ‘Merica! I see that in every way Super Bowl Sunday strikes up worship in your heart, but your worship falls on athletes who fade, on guacamole that last only a few chips (way too few, the guac to chip ratio is always too low if you ask me, anyway), at a television screen that can’t really hear you, nor a team who benefits from you, nor do you really benefit much from them. But worship itself is not where your fault lies, but the fault is in where you aim your worship. Your adoration, your praise, your energy, your money, your cheering, your time-orienting should all be centered around Jesus, for He centered His all around you so you could have football. For it was He who created football and nachos and music and everything else this world has to offer. He is not swayed by your cheers for one team or another, nor does He listen to your heartfelt prayer for that field goal to go through the goalposts or wide of them. But what He has done is this, He has placed human beings in the past, like Adam, Abraham, and Jesus, like your parents, their parents, and their parents’ parents, in the nations they lived knowing that you, yes you as an individual, would one day live in a nation that produced something like a Super Bowl and would be inspired to set your heart, your stomach, your eyes, your energy, your wallets totally aside for one Super Day and one Super Team, when your heart, your stomach, your eyes, your energy, your wallets were always meant for one man: Jesus. Though it is Coldplay who sings at halftime that “You’re a sky, ‘cause you’re a sky full of stars, I’m gonna give you my heart… ‘Cause you’re a sky, ‘cause you’re a sky full of stars I want to die in your arms.” It is God who feels this way about you, you are the stars that fill His sky, and He has died for you. When you believe in His love, His death, and resurrection it is He that sings “Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try and fix you.” For He does fix us through and through, by and by, and he fixes us a spot in heaven to eternally worship Him as well.
29-31 “Don’t you see it’s silly to put all of your worship eggs in this one bowl? It’s ok to enjoy the game, the music, the guacamole because they all have God’s fingerprint on them, though they have been crafted by mere human hands. God overlooked such silliness in the ages before Christ. But with Christ having come, fully revealing God’s nature, through His death and resurrection, through His forgiveness and mercy, He also has set a future date for his reappearance to judge who or what we’ve worshipped with our lives. It’s time to decide now on your end what He will see on His end on that day when He comes back. What will you want to say you worshiped: the God who gives us all these good gifts of football, music, and delicious foods, or the plate of wings and a soon to be forgotten sporting event?
32-34 When he was finished, Anderson Cooper and Stephen Hawking were in tears, repenting openly and recognizing the error of their ways. The Commissioners of the major sports weren't’ convinced but all wanted to hear more, and yet many businessmen, professors, and even some very strict and religious Christians all snickered and said “this guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” A dejected janitor named Steven had no idea his new friend he made just the other day at the bar was going to speak on national television and change his heart forever. In fact, many like Steven who listened to Paul enjoyed the game (and the guacamole), but worshiped the Creator instead of the game that Sunday.